I had initially pictured the professional world to be monotonous and serious: bespoke suits, cufflinks, shaking hands with a firm grip. But Yale’s work culture turns out to be a continent of its own.

From the tyranny of Google Calendar to the uncomfortable abundance of mass emails with meme attachments, Yale’s work culture has shocked me on various levels. Despite my self-contempt at deeming these comparatively normal, what I am most surprised by is the positivity epidemic in professional spaces.

I have had my fair share of seeing people trying to market their work as quirky and relatable. Seeing my Head of College being showered with flour by students on a TikTok was unexpected. Not to mention Yale professors’ go-to tactic of mentioning Taylor Swift to clickbait students into consuming memeified academic content. There was a “friendly” filter over quite formal affairs — something I am not used to.

This warm glow is definitely not universal. In Türkiye, where I am from, only serious disciplinary action warrants an administrator conversing with a student. In Switzerland, where I went to boarding school, networking comes in the form of distant politeness and an inviolable business formal dress code. But at Yale, incessant positivity and over-familiarity mark every interaction.

During the social battlefield of freshman orientation, everyone spoke as if they were reading from a script or template. Many peers and executives had molded their personality into two or three cookie cutter interests, their passions and goals reduced into marketable resume bullet points. I did get that no one owed anyone sincerity in a professional setting, but never had I ever seen pretension perfumed with such excessive friendliness.

Making connections felt like gathering tokens in a social game. I imagined the college experience to be about meeting new people and fostering relationships with professors rather than just studying 24/7. But being new to American culture, I could not help but always feel excluded. There were some people that managed to enter a room and immediately bond with everyone. I would speak twice and politely leave. 

To adapt in my first two months in the United States, I believe I have mastered the subtle art of Yale formal introductions. There is a bizarre formula to be learned: a niche compliment paired with the sharing of a quirky hobby, followed by the secondary detail of one’s professional qualifications. To get acquainted means learning about how a program director adores their weekly 6 p.m. tango class or has a huge passion for orientalist embroidery. Their work seems like a footnote.

Since professional relationships appear more friendly here than anywhere else I’ve been, the lines blur between companionship and networking, between humanitarianism and marketing. Seminars feel like pageants, and professional gatherings are popularity contests.

To me, honesty is the purest form of kindness. I am still a tourist at noticing corporate friendliness, and switching on my 9-to-5 cold grin. Having seen the pretentious altruism of the American professional world, I realized that I much prefer a blunt “no” to forced courtesy. I would much rather be told that I cannot contact someone outside of working hours than be told that I can ask for help whenever and not get a response.

I do acknowledge my hypocrisy. The professors who give me guidance feel like valuable mentors. But when they help others and do not connect with me, it feels like nepotism. Perhaps I am overly critical, but maybe there is no need for there to be much sincerity in a professional setting in the first place. Why can’t everyone do their work and move on with their day, without having the need to tirelessly expand their network?

So, what if we all just started being more honest with each other? What if we based professional success not by exclusive communities and the span of one’s network, but rather through measurable skills? It’s that or I just might have to schedule a meeting with one of my 20 wellness mentors.

ALI OTUZOGLU is a first year in Silliman College from Türkiye. Contact him at ali.otuzoglu@yale.edu.