Pining after your FroCo? Dying to get on the orgy panlist? Sick of seeing khakis on men? You’re in luck! Welcome to Sex on the WKND, the YDN’s anonymous column dedicated to answering your burning questions about sex, love and anything in between. Obsessing over sex is a Yale tradition as old as the Oldest College Daily itself. This year, we have a love-savvy columnist who has done it all — including everyone on the aforementioned orgy panlist — and is ready to share. Whether you have a seminar with a hookup-gone-wrong or accidentally sent a raunchy text to your chemistry study group, Sex on the WKND is ready to help. Don’t be shy. Submit your anonymous questions, stories and tips here. 

The air is getting colder and somehow people are getting…hotter. Perhaps this phenomenon can be traced back to some lame evolutionary reason, like how in preparation for hibernation season, these months were our last chance for our ancestors to find a mate for winter, blah blah blah. (Sidenote: Darwin has got to be the biggest buzzkill in human history. No one asked for the answers to our behavior, and life would be  extremely more entertaining if we got to just speculate why we were feeling horny during the autumn months. Seriously Darwin, keep that stuff to yourself next time. No. One. Asked).

Usually at this point in the semester, after the chaos of the beginning of the semester has somewhat settled, people begin to form…little infatuations with those around them. One month in, and you know where you sit in class. You now know whether you are a front row lecture person or a normal person. You know what seat around the seminar table is yours (nearest the door for your two allotted bathroom breaks, or by the professor to make up for the fact that you will never speak a word in the class). And you’ve also built up familiarity with the people in your class, but have not yet taken enough midterms to trauma bond with them. 

This reality –– combined with your desperate search for non-alcoholic day-to-day excitement –– is a perfect teleological explanation for your crush on Mr. Boy or Ms. Girl. Take that, Darwin.

But now you’re obsessed. 

A crush, of course, can be motivating. Crushes make you shower regularly. Put on perfume. Plan outfits the night before. And if your crush is in your class, even better. You might end up actually going to class and participating so they notice you. Or you can find milfs here if you don’t want anything serious.

But also crushes can fool you. They can get a little out of hand. Because at the end of the day, that boy who is in your macroeconomics class only brushes his teeth at night and is rawdogging campus with his unbrushed teeth as we speak. And that girl in your Art History seminar who you think is super interesting literally copied her entire aesthetic from a micro TikTok influencer. Not to mention, she has never touched the “Iliad” in her life — her only knowledge of Achilles comes from Madeline Miller’s gay romance novel. Tbh that girl is us, but hey, we hate her anyway!

So how do you navigate crushes at Yale? You don’t — it’s more fun that way.